I tend to embarrass people – a lot (mostly my children). One of those people I frequently embarrass is me. Yes, me.
Through my own physical actions (my mother always knew when I was home from school, because I was the only one who daily fell UP the steps on my way into the house) to my verbal actions (saying penguins when I meant to say peacocks*), I astound even myself sometimes with the amazing number of times I embarrass myself.
But never on purpose. Maybe subliminally I feel I should be rewarded for stupid behavior. After all, when you see all the attorneys on television begging you to spill hot coffee on your lap, so they can benefit from your stupidity when you sue the company, how could you not think that when you do something incredibly stupid, somebody somewhere is going to reward you for it?
But if I'm being honest with myself I have to admit that if I sued every place in which I'd ever hurt myself, I could be typing this blog on my invisible screened-in porch that overlooked a lake or the ocean.
I wouldn't want to receive my income from silly lawsuits though. I'd rather get my money the honest way, through Publisher's Clearing House. (I would say the Lottery, but I never buy tickets.)
Admittedly, I do enter contests occasionally, hoping to win. I especially love to divulge secrets I probably shouldn't share, but the prize is so worth the embarrassment.
Once a radio station ran a contest for the most embarrassing moment. I knew I would win that one and I did – a dinner for two at an exquisitely fine restaurant.
And when Xomba recently ran a contest about the worst summer ever, I remembered my most embarrassing moment and told it again. And I won again – this time a Kindle! To read the winning Kindle entry, click Vacation Destroyed By Tube Top.
Apparently, my "rags to riches" story will require me to repeatedly embarrass myself and then write about it in contests that will reward me for those embarrassing moments. As I am never at a loss for those moments, I just have to wait for contests that reward me for entering them.
If you know of any writing contests that will reward me for submitting (and admitting) the stupid things I've done and said, please let me know. And if you want to read Stupid Things You (Unknowingly) Do to Yourself, I invite you to click the link.
*For examples on how I confuse penguins with peacocks, click these links:
Penguins and Peacocks and
We're Gonna See Penguins?
Until next blog, remember, "The world is moving to a magical place."
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
This past month has been nothing but vacation, vacation, vacation for me – maybe not YOUR idea of vacation – my mother, as a matter of fact, would call this type of vacation Hell. You see, most of my "vacation" has been taking care of some of my grandchildren. So – restful it is not, but fulfilling it is. I rarely get to see my son and his family, so this vacation has been a real treat for me (yes, I said treat – inside joke to my kids and some of their friends who know us).
As always, I am surprised that I get any writing done at all with so many interruptions, but apparently I have completed some articles and blogs over the past month, and here they area (read what appeals to you – comments are always welcome):
Little Sister Saves Big Brother From Scary Robber
This story, related to me by my daughter-in-law, Michelle, was so funny, I asked her permission to blog about it. If you have more than one child or if you are from a family with even one sibling, you will enjoy this blog.
Understanding 3 Year Olds
I pride myself on understanding my grandchildren and have been fairly successful at it – until the day this happened.
Apparently, I'm going to have to be VERY careful how I say goodbye to my grandchildren.
Children Can Be So Exasperating
They can also be humorously exasperating, as you will see in this blog.
Forces of Good and Evil
This battle took place in a dream. Read to find out who won and how.
Check Out This "Writing for AC" Blog
If you are a writer who writes for Associated Content, you'll want to read this blog.
Meeting Abby Greenhill, an Associated Content from Yahoo! Contributor
On one of my vacations (the one I took with my sister, Kathy), I got to meet Abby Greenhill, who writes for Associated Content. Read about our meeting in this article.
Pen Pals Meet for First Time After More Than 45 Years
On the same trip when I met Abby, I finally got to meet the pen pal I had been wanting to meet for over 45 years. We met in Orlando, Florida, where Chris and her family were vacationing.
What's Happening to Florida's Trees?
One of the things that surprised me about my trip to Florida was the Spanish Moss that hung from the trees starting in southern Georgia and all the way to Clearwater, Florida. They looked ugly from a distance, but when I downloaded the pictures, they looked almost pretty. Click the link for a slide show.
Diagnosis: Breast Cancer -- Part V
In all of my other breast cancer journals, I discuss the clinical aspects of my breast cancer journey. In this one, I discuss my feelings and emotions concerning a breast cancer diagnosis.
Snopes Verifies This is True: Common Sense is Dead
And I have proof! Read the article.
Take the Mr. Coffie Challenge Regarding High Page Views on Associated Content from Yahoo!
Not a typo – Mr. Coffie DID challenge Associated Content writers to post their page views. Some people have commented that by posting our best articles, we are opening ourselves up to plagiarism, but I'm keeping an eye on Google Alerts to see if any of the ones I've posted have been stolen. If you are a writer who wants to rise to this challenge, I suggest you do the same.
Spirits and Alcohol
Here is one possible explanation for why alcohol is sometimes referred to as spirits.
Touched By a Ghost
Though some of you may not believe this story, I swear it's a true story.
A Haunting in Beverly – I DO Believe In Ghosts – I DO, I DO!
Another true haunting you might find hard to believe.
Thank you for clicking on any or all of the above blogs and articles. See you next blog.
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